Let Go

She walks across the lawn
Into the dusk
Out of the dawn
Holds tight feathers of the past
Lets them go
Sails behind the mast

What is this paragon of perfection?
She asks staring into the sun
In it's entirety
She sees a reflection
and thinks
"This is starting to feel fun"
Looking away, she squints to re-adjust
In this new vision she begins to trust
Within this complexity
She finds herself enamored
Putting a face to the name
It feels like home, she finally won.

At last, she thinks of broken wings
And for the last time,
She remembers how it stings.
Only after she has let it all go
She finds the face to this name
and decides to let the wind blow

To Ishvara

I hear the drip
and it sounds like shit
they tried to hide it
but it slipped
from broken hearts and mangled spaces
What is this drip that makes me so sick?
it fills up all the incomplete places
and feeds the virus of worn out faces.
without a warning
the drip leaves its traces
and falls into our devastated graces

That is the drip that makes me so sick.

Abundantly

you'll never live life
abundantly
i don't think you'll ever really see
that what you think you really need
is just a ploy for a mothers good deed.

i tried to help you in your ways
and re-align the track
in your dizzier days

i tried so hard
expended all the words
that would allow you to understand
the damage you've incurred

but you called me abstract
and that
was that

you said i was a good writer.
but that was that.

i tried to show you in those days
when you were moving through a maze
that its not worth seeking someone else's dream
when they get to be the fabric
and your just the seam

i let your sorrow fill my pages
i figured that natural causes would kill it,
as it ages
blood, sweat, infinite tears
we just lost all the years

you'll never live life abundantly
and this I promise
you will see

omnipotence

i know i make it easy to love me/
i know i make it harder to love you.

i know i make it easy to trust me/
i know I make it harder to trust you.

i know i make it easy to hear me/
i know i make it harder to hear you.

i know i make it easy to want me/
i know i make it harder to want you.

i know,
i know,
i make it harder to want to.

i know i make it easy to believe me/
i know i make it harder to believe you.

i know if life was easier to push through/
it wouldn't mean a thing for me to live through.

Dear Em (Pt. 2)

Appreciate life
you're alive
you're alive

don't
don't
don't complain
that he left you
you're mad
you're confused
so you cry
so you cry
and it hurts

don't
don't
don't
complain
about pain
pain
pain that he left you
fuck him, he left you
you're lonely
you're afraid
so it hurts
so it hurts
and you cry


don't
don't
don't complain
that you're sad
you're sad
he left you
you're lost
you're afraid
so it hurts
and it hurts
and you cry

some people dont feel
they cant feel
what's real

some of those people don't care
they don't care
that they're there

some of those people
can't even cry
they cant cry

some of those people
have no choice left
so they'd rather die

some of those people give death a chance
just to feel that they're alive

On the Tip of My Brain

I'm standing on the tip of my brain/
one foot firmly planted on the ledge,
the other is dangling over the edge
in vain/
I'm balancing between the thought of knowing what I'm saying,
and on the ground I'm staying
or the fear of falling off,
the fear of not knowing how I'm playing/
i really don't know how I'm playing
this game.

Dear Em (Pt.1)

8pm.
She's a quiet desperation,
lonely, impatient.
A mess without consolation,
Running into herself,
over
and
over
the Queen of abdication.

The crown she tossed into the sea of frustration
The crown she lost to the sea of self-mutilation.

She's so full of empty,
sometimes it hurts to try resuscitation.
Sprinting for the bridges,
lest to find them in dis
association.

Insincere in determination,
insufficient heaves and throws
and bottomless blows
to capitulation.
She's dishonest;
She's afraid;
Ignores all intuition

Still,
Our little Pearl of habituation
found her throne in the chaotic
speckled,
dangerous,
whirlwind of disintegration.
And there she goes
she goes
she goes

Still,
The crown she tossed into the sea of frustration,
is the crown she lost to self-mutilation.

William Blake

"To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand"
-William Blake

أنت حياتي

Let's
draw
a
line
From
your
heart
to
mine


and
if
and
when
we
break from
this
spine
at least
we'll find
our way back
over time.

Friends, and Other Things

Smile

The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief.

-Shakespeare

To Play or Not To Play, Is the Question

there is nothing or no one telling you what to do, it's all up to you.

vibrato or no vibrato, you decide.

so the right answer? the most accurate decision?
it's what you make it to be,
there's no external influence, no 3rd party involved.
it's just you
the bow
and C-G-D-A.

the most beautiful move is the one that you want.
it's what you feel.
it's what you know.

that's what music is, it's what we know to be true to us, every step of the way.
it's a variable expression of who we are, ever changing and always in harmony with us.
because we picked the notes, the pitch, the arrangements.
it's our baby.

you give a song life, and just as easily,
you take that life away.

it's not arbitrary, it's completely planned out.
it's mapped out for us in our past, our histories, the places we've been, the people we've met.
the music we make, the sounds that are each individually worthless but yet together so purposeful and necessary.

it's what you want and no matter how hard you try, you can't get rid of what you want.

it always finds a way to creep back up into your life and scare the living shit out of you.

Ablaze

A Mary

things i have

i have a database in my brain
that fills up every time it rains
and when it rains
it fucking pours
won't somebody please shut the doors?

i have a hole in my left sock
that i just don't want to sew back up
i like this hole, i like it very much,
it's been there for me,
through tough times and such.

i have a pocket in my right shoe,
that is filled up with tacky glue.
when i see things that need to be fixed,
i can patch them up
no need for tricks.

i have a secret door in my room,
that takes me to a secret tomb.
where i can hide away and play,
and if you come with,
we can be there all day.

Finally!

I am writing again. And it feels oh-so-so-so good.

Half The Sphere

Half the sphere was my heart,
that spun in circles
worlds apart.
speeding up then slowing
down,
all we did was go round and round.
we found a place to come and rest,
i've put you in a treasure chest
i'll keep you golden,
locked up forever,
i'll open it sometimes, often,
probably never.
And there you'll stay with all your glory,
guarding with you all our stories.
Keep them dear child,
keep them close,
for those will provide comfort
when you need a dose
of that unconditioned love
you held in your hand,
but let slip through your fingers
like grains of sand.
now i'm writing.
now i'm learning.
now i'm preaching.
now i'm earning.
the rights to say that i was right,
and rest assured you wont sleep at night.
you'll be up sleepless moons,
peeping out,
creeping about,
clinging to stories from the treasure chest
come here and put that head
to rest.

Khalil Gibran

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

-Khalil Gibran

guh pie lee gor

the moon's beam and ground plane are not my friends tonite.
i look up only to look down, it seems.

i cant see you anymore, you're hiding behind anguish.
i cant feel you anymore, you're inching farther away every moment
i can't hear you anymore, my sadness gets louder every passing second.
i can't touch you anymore, my hands sting you too much.
i can't trust you anymore, for you say one thing and do another.
i can't want you anymore, you're not worth the rejection.
i can't yearn for you anymore, my heart's yearning for something new.
i can't try anymore, i'm losing my grip, my mind and my soul.
i can't wait for you anymore, I don't think you're ever coming.
i can't love you anymore, you don't love me like you did once before.

In Flight

my escape from reality
he has escaped my reality.
no fate nor destiny can fill me
with that vitality

my fresh breath of air
he has finally soared free
far away to the homeland
searching for a peace of mind endlessly

my vision of hope
he has left long ago
taking loads of faith with him
leaving for me only sorrow